A New Way to Say No (#5)

 

大丈夫(だいじょうぶ) daijobu originally means "I'm OK."

However, among young people, the meaning of "NO" has been incorporated.

Consequently, older generations may struggle to accurately understand the intentions of the youth.

This misunderstanding even occurs between parents and their children, often leading to the opposite meaning being inferred.

This phenomenon has made it one of the words demonstrating a significant so-called generation gap.

まつりちゃんってば
matsuri-chan teba
今週の日曜日 誕生日じゃん
konshuu no nichiyo-bi tanjo-bi jan

だよー
dayo

パーティーしようぜ！
'party' shiyo ze

大丈夫
daijobu

Translationまつりちゃんてば今週の日曜日誕生日じゃん: This Sunday is your birthday, Matsuri-chan.
だよー: Yeah, that's right.
パーティーしようぜ！: Let's have a party!
大丈夫: I'm OK. (meaning "You don't have to mind me.")

In this case, the cliché "I'm OK" means "Thanks for your kind offer, but I'm OK, so I'm declining your offer."

Young people could guess that "I'm OK" in this context means a roundabout NO.

On the other hand, older people feel strange about using the word 大丈夫 daijobu; as a result, they may interpret it as a literal acceptance of the other party's proposal.

For example, consider the following situation in which boss A invites a new employee, young man B, out for a drink.

    A: 仕事(しごと)が終(お)わったら飲(の)みに行(い)かないか？
        How about a drink after work?

    B: あ、大丈夫(だいじょうぶ)です。
        Um, I'm OK.

    A: そりゃよかった。じゃ、18時(じゅうはちじ juhachi-ji)にフロントで会(あ)おう。

        Well, that's good. I'll meet you at the front desk at 6:00 p.m.

    B: え？
        Huh?

NotesIn Japan, time is often expressed in 24-hour notation. In particular, people whose occupations involve tasks that span across days may indicate midnight as 24:00 and 1:00 a.m. as 25:00 when the task continues even after the date changes.

While this usage is acceptable in informal conversations, if a business person uses it in a formal context, they might be perceived as uneducated or immature.

Preferred Paraphrasing

Here are some expressions that are generally less likely to cause misunderstandings.

When politely declining the other party's offer, you can say;

• ありがとうございます。そのお気持(きも)ちだけ頂(いただ)きます。
  (arigato gozaimasu sono okimoti dake itadaki masu)
• ありがとうございます。お気持(きも)ちだけで十分(じゅうぶん)です。
  (arigato gozaimasu okimochi dake de juubun desu)

十分 juubun can be replaced with 満足(まんぞく) manzoku, 結構(けっこう) kekkou , or 嬉(うれ)しい ureshii.

• ありがとうございます。お気持ちだけで満足/結構/嬉しいです。
  (arigato gozaimasu okimochi dake de manzoku/kekko/ureshii desu)

These sentences mean something like "Thank you very much. However, I am quite content with your kindness, and I do not wish for anything more."

Other Ways of Saying

There are also the following clichés that can be used regardless of age or occasion.

• 遠慮(えんりょ)します
  (enryo shimasu)
• どうぞ、お構(かま)いなく
  (doozo okamai naku)
• 間(ま)に合(あ)っています
  (ma ni atte imasu) 

遠慮します enryo simasu is a common way to decline someone's request or suggestion.　It can be used when the food recommended is not your favorite.

    A: 私(わたし)の手料理(てりょうり)食(た)べたい？
        (watashi no te-ryoori tabe tai) 
        meaning: Would you like to eat my home-cooked food?

    B: いいえ、遠慮(えんりょ)します。
        (iie enryo shimasu)
        meaning: No, thank you.

どうぞ、お構いなく doozo okamai naku can be used when you appreciate someone's consideration but don't currently require anything specific. It can be used when you are visiting someone's home and they offer you a drink or ask you to get into a comfortable position, but you don't need it.

    A: コーヒーか紅茶(こうちゃ)でも飲みませんか？
        (koohee ka koocha demo nomi masen ka)
        meaning: Would you like a cup of coffee or tea?

    B: そろそろおいとましますので、どうぞ、お構(かま)いなく。
        (sorosoro oitoma shimasu node doozo okamai naku)
        meaning: Thanks. but I am about to leave, so you don't have to do anything.

間に合っています ma ni atte imasu is used to politely decline when someone offers you something or suggests an action that you currently don't need. It can be used as a polite way to refuse a salesperson who unexpectedly visits your house.

    A: この近(ちか)くの分譲住宅(ぶんじょうじゅうたく)にご興味(きょうみ)はありませんか？
        (kono chikaku no bunjo hanbai ni gokyoomi wa arimasen ka)
        meaning: Are you interested in the houses for sale that have been built near here?
    B: いいえ、間(ま)に合(あ)っていますので。
        (iie ma ni atte imasu node)
        meaning: No, thanks. I am not interested at this time.

These expressions aren't necessarily rude, but they may be perceived as lacking warmth. Essentially, they represent a formal refusal with the understanding that the kindness offered is more than sufficient.